OUR KNOTS MAKE US BEAUTIFUL
My road to the world of macrame started when I was very young. It began with friendship bracelets, lanyards and jewelry. I adored creating tokens of love for family and friends. As a young girl, you would most often find me creating, crafting, drawing or decorating and re-arranging my room. Not much has changed thirty years later. I find delight being in spaces; experiencing, decorating and creating them. In 2015, macrame came back in to my life when I signed up for a workshop from Emily Katz as a birthday present to myself. I was instantly hooked! After five years as a Medical Assistant, I found myself inspired to follow my love for art. Two weeks later, I quit my job and started Be With Heart. I dove in headfirst by making pieces for friends and family, setting up social media, building a website and working with my personal, leadership guide, Kimberly Dawson. I shared my art, stories and my voice and before I knew it, had a waiting list for commission requests. In November 2016, I was hired by Emily to be part of the Modern Macrame team. I spent a year making art for her and worked alongside an unforgettable, all-woman team. (Link to Modern Macrame and Kim Dawson when reader hovers over name. Also, add ' over Modern Macrame))
When I was 19, a sophomore in college, I was in a snowboarding accident that forever changed my life. I broke my back. I experienced multiple, fractured vertebrae, herniated discs, nerve damage and trauma to my head and neck. As I lay on the cold mountain that night after my crash, I got a new body. A body that I didn't recognize, or like at all. It was a broken, hurting all the time, fragile, hopeless and angry body. For years, I did my best to maintain my sunny outlook, yet on the inside, I was drowning in a black sea. I've spent the past fourteen years learning how to live in and love this body of mine. I'm still exhausted and I hurt all the time, but eventually, I got my sunny outlook back. It's been a long and hard road, and I'm stronger because of all the knots I carry within me now. I believe life is about choices, and I've chosen to accept, to surrender and to find joy in pain. We all have moments- moments that stretch our spirits’ ability to survive and cope. My moment, when my body crashed against the mountain, was the beginning of my new life.
My accident was my first giant knot, and it’s led to many more complicated knots in the rope of my life. What I see now, fourteen years later, is that every knot is a beautiful twist of me, just like all of your knots are beautiful twists of you.
I'm happiest when my hands and body are making. I live each day with chronic pain and other health issues from my accident, and art has always been an outlet and a therapy for me. When I spend my time creating a piece, my pain becomes secondary, quieted by the beauty I'm making in front of me. It's a reflection- that I too, am beautiful and strong, just like my knotted art. Every piece of macrame I create is a story, a lesson and a reflection. I work with found driftwood, found objects, dowels, cotton rope, wool and chain and I continue to explore, grow and learn with each piece I make. My art is more than what the eye sees. It serves as a reminder to have a heart for yourself while you ride the waves of life’s changes and challenges. The waves we experience can be scary, rough and overwhelming. When I step back and look at a piece of my art, the knots create a calm in me. I find comfort in seeing harmony within the knots, the spaces in between, the light that shines through and the beautiful mystery in the shadows. My art helps me to remember that when the waves are hitting, we have to let go and trust.
Perseverance through twenty surgeries and procedures has taught me that while our knots make us more complex and scarred, they also make us more wise, with a deeper understanding. Our scars are our knots of strength, of survival and adaptation. I now accept my accident as a gift and practice loving my knots every day. They've given me an invaluable perspective through a lens I’m not sure I would've found anywhere else. I've learned that compassion, empathy, patience and love are the greatest gifts from my accident, and I practice everyday to live with a wide-open and loving heart.
We can’t experience the light without knowing the dark and the starts can't shine without the darkness. I have good days and knot-so-good days, just like you. We all get to choose- to follow the light or follow the dark. We take life day by day, look for the light and do our best. We get to be with heart, for ourselves and for each other.
BFA- Oregon State University 2007 (Get rid of space below this line, please)
Studied Art History & Painting- Accademia Di Belle Arti Macerata, Italy 2005